Best I Ever Had
by moCha chiLLer
Summary: I never thought I would say this but Harry, we need to be separated." Hermione and Harry have been married for a few years now, but what happens when she wants a seperation? (Better than it sounds) please rr!)


**Disclaimer ::** I am not J.K. Rowling, therefore I (unfortunately) don't own Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, etc. However I do own Jimmy/James and Jill. They happen to be my older siblings actually. Well technically, I don't own them OR their names, because my parents own those, but I'm sure I'm not going to get sued by them for using my sister and brother's names in this fiction. They'll get over it. Also, I don't own the song _Best I Ever Had_. Vertical Horizon does. And the part where Harry says "You're everything thing I've ever wanted. We're meant to be together. I don't want to lose that," or something like that… that's kinda Avril Lavigne's _Happy Ending_ (lyrics go "You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it….") so I think that's it.

**Author's Note ::** After reading, please review! =D also, I highly recommend listening to Vertical Horizon's "Best I Ever Had" while reading this as the fiction is based on the song… sort of. Much love…moCha chiLLer

**Best I Ever Had**

Since I was eleven years old, my best friends have been Ron Weasley and Hemione Granger. Of course there would be little arguments between us once in a while and we would stop talking to each other, but it was always sorted out. But this time it would be a bit different than the typical occurrence.

-Two Years Ago-

"Harry I can't do this anymore," she said. "Always hiding and worrying about everything. It's so hard and I hate it. I never thought I would say this but Harry, we need to be separated."

_So you sailed away into a grey sky morning_

_Now I'm here to stay, love can be so boring_

At that moment, my entire life, no my entire world, shut down. She was right. We were always hiding from danger; mostly Voldemort and his posse. The "war" had been fought for a little while, but soon ended for an unknown reason. Voldemort had been searching for us for years. More like searching for me, but Hermione as well because she was my wife.

I found myself in the same position I had been in nearly 30 years ago. 27 years ago Voldemort wanted me dead and because of that I put my parents in danger. They hid to keep me safe. Now, Voldemort is still fighting to find me and kill me so he can carry out his plans without me in the way. Only this time instead of my parents in danger, it was the love of my life and my two children James and Jill.

_Nothing's quite the same now. I just say your name now_

"Hermione, I…"

"Harry, don't say anything. You'll only make it worse. I'm taking Jill and James. I'm leaving. I don't want my children growing up threatened. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Harry, never forget that I'll always love you. No matter what I will always love you more than anything in this world. Maybe things will change soon but until something happens and Voldemort is gone, I can't see you. I can't stand living this life. Every day when you go to work I'm a wreck thinking something is going to happen to you, or to me or the kids while you're away. Tonight I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be back… or if I'll be back."

She was really going and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

_But it's not so bad. You're only the best I ever had._

_You don't want me back… you're just the best I ever had._

"Hermione, please! Don't leave me! If you leave me I'll fall apart. I've loved you since I was 14 years old! Please. I… just don't know what to say," I stood there and tried as hard as I could to fight back tears, but it didn't work. A drop fell from my eye and slowly fell down my face.

"I'm going upstairs to pack my things. Don't try to stop me Harry. Please don't. This is something I have to do. It's for the better. I really want you to understand."

"But Hermione if you go, where are you going to live? How am I going to see our kids? Our beautiful little children? Hermione please! Don't do this! I'll do anything... anything at all. Just please don't leave me."

"Please Harry. Everything will work out. Eventually, we'll move on and live our lives. But this isn't the life I want our kids to grow up in! I know you don't either. I know you don't want their childhood memories to consist of always moving houses and hiding from death. Just let me do this Harry," she said as she began to cry.

_So you stole my world, now I'm just a phony_

_Remembering the girl leaves me down and lonely_

"No! I won't let you go! Hermione you're the best thing that's ever happened to me! Every time we broke up and went out with other people, it didn't feel right. You're the best girlfriend I ever had and you became my wife! We've had two kids together and have a great life besides having to hide all the time. Hermione, you and I were meant for each other. I don't know what I'll do without you."

_Send it in a letter. Make yourself feel better_

She just stood there and looked at me with tears in her eyes, falling down her cheeks, and dripping to the floor. I looked back at her. Her eyes were filled with a feeling of hurt. I knew it was hard for her to be doing this. But I knew I couldn't stop her no matter how hard I tried. I wouldn't give up though.

"Hermione Potter I love you more than anything in this world. I would do anything for you including dying. You are my life. Everything I do, I do for you. Without you, I'm nothing. I want you to stay. I _need_ you to stay!"

She continued to look at me. She slapped her hands to her side and said,

"Harry I have to do this."

With that she turned around and walked upstairs and into our room. I could hear her going through the closet removing things and putting them in a suitcase.

I walked into James and Jill's room. They looked so peaceful in their cribs as they slept with no fear, no worry, no feeling of anything being wrong. My heart broke into tiny pieces as Jill turned over. I knew seeing them now would probably be one of the last times I would ever see them as babies. I picked up my baby girl and cradled her close as a tear fell on to her tiny cheek. I hoped as she grew older I would see her again. My beautiful baby girl…

I set her back in her crib gently. Then I looked at my baby boy. I picked him up and he woke up with a yawn. My heart melted. I knew I loved these two little ones more than life itself. I watched him suck on his pacifier that had a broomstick and Snitch painted on. I hoped when he got older he would love Quidditch as much as I did. As I set him back in his crib, I kissed his head. He giggled and it made me smile. As I watched him play with his toes, I prayed I would see him again soon.

_But it's not so bad. You're only the best I ever had_

_You don't need me back. You're just the best I ever had_

Finally I walked in my room to see Hermione standing in the bathroom putting her few items of make-up in a bag. I could tell she was still crying. I hated it when she cried, especially if it was my fault. I always did anything I could to make her feel better, but this time I didn't have any idea of what to do.

"Hermione?"

She gasped and said "Harry, you scared me."

"Sorry. But, will I ever see you again?"

"Harry listen, I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen or anything. I just know I need to get away as soon as I can."

As she said this a strong feeling of sadness overcame me. She needed to get away as soon as she could. She must have noticed this sudden feeling in me because she began to apologize.

"Oh Harry I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just… need to get away. I'm praying things get better really soon so we can be together again but for now I don't know when or if I'll see you again soon or at all. I want to stay Harry, I really want to, but leaving is something I really believe I need to do."

"No! Hermione I've told you a million times! You don't need to do this! I know we're living in hiding and always running away from danger but we have been since we were 11! Hermione you're everything I ever wanted. We're supposed to be together! I don't want to lose that. Nothing is stronger than the feelings I have for you. I would never let _anything_ happen to you or Jimmy and Jill. I swear that. Please, don't leave me alone." Again my eyes filled with tears. I was never much of a crier, but if something like this happened to you, you would cry too.

She just fell into my arms and we hugged each other for the longest time…almost as if we would never let go. I definitely never wanted to let go of that moment, and I knew she didn't want to either, but finally, we did. I looked at her right in the eyes and said

"Hermione I will love you forever, no matter what may happen."

_It may take some time to patch me up inside _

_But I can't take it, so I run away and hide_

She leaned closer to me and softly kissed me. I kissed her back but then pulled away. It would only make this harder for me.

A single, lonely tear fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek. As I wiped it away she looked at me.

"I have to get the babies' things packed." She turned and walked out of the room, down the hallway, and into our children's room. She had broken my heart once right after graduation when she told me we needed to see other people. I thought we would never be together again. Now she was breaking it again by leaving me.

_And I may find in time that you were right_

_You're always right_

An hour later I found myself helping her bring all the luggage downstairs and by the front door. Finally I climbed the stairs and picked up my babies. I cherished that moment so much since I didn't know if I would ever have a chance to hold them again. Carefully I carried them downstairs, outside, and placed them in their car-seats. While I kissed them each on the forehead, I told them I would always love them more than life. I looked at them and thought about the day they were born. I was so happy. They were my little bundles of joy… tiny symbols of the bond of love between Hermione and me. I held on to their small hands one last time before gently closing the door.

Hermione was walking out of the door. We looked at each other and went into an exceedingly emotional long hug. Both of us were crying, but Hermione was practically bawling. Reluctantly we let go of each other. I opened her car door for her and held her hand as she got in. She turned on the car and after putting it in reverse,

"I will always love you too Harry James Potter," she whispered.

She closed the door and rolled down the window. We shared a final kiss before she backed out of the driveway.

_So you sailed away into a grey sky morning_

_Now I'm here to stay, love can be so boring_

_What was it you wanted?_

_Could it be I'm haunted?_

As she was driving away, I ran like I chasing a Snitch. Expect the Snitch was the woman I love and my two babies; and instead of flying on a broomstick, I was running as fast as I could and struggling to see because my eyes were completely filled with tears which were also streaming carelessly down my face. Hermione stopped at a stop sign. She turned the corner and I stopped. I continued to cry as I watched the car drive down the road and disappear along the horizon line that was bursting with color from the setting sun.

Then it hit me...she was gone.

But it's not so bad. She's only the best I ever had.

(**A/N ::** Welllll? What did you think? good, bad? Please review! Let me know if I should go on or make a prequel or something. And if you must, flame me. please please please please **PLEASE** review! =)   i love you ALL… and i love mocha chillers. =D yay for mocha chillers! Alright well… what are you waiting for? Review! (I know it's sad, but if you know the song, it totally fits.)


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